I seem to fall in and out of love with running. Last year I went through a weird time. I didn't like running anymore, I was over it. A few good days, mostly bad days. I would run/walk the canyon. I couldn't keep up with my friends Shannon and Marisa and I didn't really care. I didn't look forward to "running" I was in this weird "whatever" funk. I would try to like it but I just didn't. I blame part of it on not signing up for any races. I almost always run at least one race a year. At the last minute I signed up to run the Halloween Half with Marisa. Thank goodness! It doesn't make sense but for some reason running a race motivates me to run more.
Below is a draft of a post that I started on my family blog November 1, 2010 (after running) but never published......
Is it an abusive relationship or is it an addition? (both??)
What do you call it when you know something is bad for you but you do it anyway?
What do you call something that you know is going to hurt you physically and mentally but you do it anyway?
What do you call something that you love so much yet it makes you think and feel so many bad things about yourself?
At times it makes you feel like you literally can't go on. Yet at other times it makes you feel like you are on top of the world, nothing can stop you and you couldn't possibly be happier.
(That's why you keep doing it, for all the good times)
Even though you know when it's over you will probably be in pain. Yet even while in pain you just wish you could go do it again.
What do you call this euphoric torture you put yourself through?
I call it running.
I often refer to myself as a wanna be runner. I have ran 8 half marathons and 1 full marathon yet I'm a wanna be? I realized this the other day when I was at the chiropractors office after he listened to my heart rate and said what doctors usually say to me, "you must be a runner?" All of a sudden I was extremely uncomfortable. I never know how to respond to that. Most weeks I get in at least 20 to 30 miles but I may walk some of it so does that count? I run but I don't have a lean amazing runner body and I'm not fast by any means I just do it because I enjoy it. If I answer "yes" saying that I am indeed a runner I feel like I'm lying.---------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The love was rekindled at bit after running the Halloween half. Then, I was finally able to get my friends to put in for the Canyonlands Half Marathon in Moab. At Thanksgiving time I had to have surgery. I probably was dying to run because I knew I couldn't. I ate horribly and couldn't work out, bad combo. We found out we were accepted into the race. I was able to start slowly running again after the first week of January. One thing after another kept hitting and setting me back and I just wasn't running much. Before I knew it March was here and it was time to run the half marathon in Moab. I was excited because I LOVE this run but scared because I really hadn't been running. I ran 3 miles a couple times a week. I think the most I ran was 7 miles or so a couple weeks before the race.
I really didn't know how I was going to pull this one off. When we were riding the buses to the start line is when I began to think about how little I had run lately. At that point it doesn't matter, you are there with what ya have. I was really excited for Haley, Shannon and Marisa because it was their first half marathon and I thought they would love it.
The race started and I started falling in love all over again. I love the canyon, the river, the people and the weather. It's like the kick off to the running season after being couped up and stuck in doors for months during the cloudy, cold winter, no more treadmill, no more seasonal depression. Life is good and being able to run outside makes it better. The having great friends to run with makes it the best.
The only twist now is that my friends are time concious. It does make it a lot more of a challenge, I have always just generally done "whatever". Now I realize I need to step it up and get serious starting with my eating.
Moab seems to do it to me every time. There's something about that run because I have fallen in LOVE all over again with running. I'm excited to run this year and am SO looking forward to the races I have planned!! I've set some goals and look forward to accomplishing them.
Thank you Canyonlands/Moab for getting me out of my anti-running funk.
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